I truly think if you have dreams, please challenge yourself and not settle! I believe that is what I have been doing with pageants. No matter who or what brings me back in, at the end of another pageant I feel these same feelings.
It's just not where God has me going in life. Let me paint you a picture of how it happened.
It is the end of the pageant, it went by pretty quick and throughout the whole evening I felt off. I didn't feel as confident like I normally do with pageants. I tried my best as I possibly could.
They handed out overall (throughout the 3 titles) individual awards. One miss contestant got two the other got one. There were three of us Miss Contestants. As we went up for the title I knew I wasn't gonna get it. The runner up was announced...not me. The title holder....not me. Shocker? No not at all! I've competed for 5 years....7 pageants (including this one) and I've always lost. I've won Miss Congeniality which is such an honor don't get me wrong! That was the best! I'm just used to losing which no one should feel that.
You work so hard and it feels like you are over looked. Why do I put myself through that? Good question when I get an answer I'll let ya know. Standing on that stage right in the middle with nothing between two gals who received something. I don't know if I can tell you anything that is more uncomfortable in my life. I wanted to run off that stage so fast like no one would even know I was there.
So why do I waste my time? In that moment I realized that God designed me for something more. Something more than just a pageant. Yes pageants can teach you valuable skills and I have gained some from my experience but I am done getting kicked around. I'll never be good enough for something so little and I have to stop going back to it. I don't understand why I keep going back. I feel let down every time.
I have to be done with this. It proves time and time again that I get let down. I am so trusted on worldly possessions with pageants and I have to let it go.
I took time to reevaluate what my goals and aspirations are. I want to chase my old dreams, the ones that challenge you. The ones that get you to pop out of bed in the morning excited to see what happens. What is this dream you may ask....ACTING! Yes you read right I want to act. Now I know that is not enough. I will be praying on this, practicing and doing what I need to do to make this come true. This won't happen overnight and I am aware of that. I want to do something with my life than what I have been.
Everything else in my life besides pageants have been amazing as usual! I couldn't ask for better. I need to challenge myself and work for something that may seem impossible. With God, NOTHING is impossible. He has a divine plan one that is so detailed and unique that we only can lean on Him for guidance. He is bigger than pageants, He is bigger than our little worries and He is bigger than our dreams. I have been lead astray from Him and the Word but I am now realizing all it takes to truly succeed in life is to spend time with Him truly not just a little prayer. Yet take time to talk to God, He wants to hear from us! There is no way we will know what to do or where to go than to lean on our beautiful Heavenly Father!
This is the most I have typed in a long time haha!! Now you know the latest in this crazy life of mine. I might start a blog following my adventures of my new dream but for now I am gonna live my beautiful life and run after God with my whole heart.
Thank You for staying tuned all these years to my pageant ventures. It has been a ride that has taught me more than I even realize right now. I am thankful for all of it.
Hopefully you'll see me one day on the red carpet changing lives, inspiring others and making those dreams come true. Shining God's light on others to see how amazing He truly is!!
God bless,
Tiffany Paul
(P.S. my dream is to be on the show Mr. Robot. God only knows we'll see!)
It's just not where God has me going in life. Let me paint you a picture of how it happened.
It is the end of the pageant, it went by pretty quick and throughout the whole evening I felt off. I didn't feel as confident like I normally do with pageants. I tried my best as I possibly could.
They handed out overall (throughout the 3 titles) individual awards. One miss contestant got two the other got one. There were three of us Miss Contestants. As we went up for the title I knew I wasn't gonna get it. The runner up was announced...not me. The title holder....not me. Shocker? No not at all! I've competed for 5 years....7 pageants (including this one) and I've always lost. I've won Miss Congeniality which is such an honor don't get me wrong! That was the best! I'm just used to losing which no one should feel that.
You work so hard and it feels like you are over looked. Why do I put myself through that? Good question when I get an answer I'll let ya know. Standing on that stage right in the middle with nothing between two gals who received something. I don't know if I can tell you anything that is more uncomfortable in my life. I wanted to run off that stage so fast like no one would even know I was there.
So why do I waste my time? In that moment I realized that God designed me for something more. Something more than just a pageant. Yes pageants can teach you valuable skills and I have gained some from my experience but I am done getting kicked around. I'll never be good enough for something so little and I have to stop going back to it. I don't understand why I keep going back. I feel let down every time.
I have to be done with this. It proves time and time again that I get let down. I am so trusted on worldly possessions with pageants and I have to let it go.
I took time to reevaluate what my goals and aspirations are. I want to chase my old dreams, the ones that challenge you. The ones that get you to pop out of bed in the morning excited to see what happens. What is this dream you may ask....ACTING! Yes you read right I want to act. Now I know that is not enough. I will be praying on this, practicing and doing what I need to do to make this come true. This won't happen overnight and I am aware of that. I want to do something with my life than what I have been.
Everything else in my life besides pageants have been amazing as usual! I couldn't ask for better. I need to challenge myself and work for something that may seem impossible. With God, NOTHING is impossible. He has a divine plan one that is so detailed and unique that we only can lean on Him for guidance. He is bigger than pageants, He is bigger than our little worries and He is bigger than our dreams. I have been lead astray from Him and the Word but I am now realizing all it takes to truly succeed in life is to spend time with Him truly not just a little prayer. Yet take time to talk to God, He wants to hear from us! There is no way we will know what to do or where to go than to lean on our beautiful Heavenly Father!
This is the most I have typed in a long time haha!! Now you know the latest in this crazy life of mine. I might start a blog following my adventures of my new dream but for now I am gonna live my beautiful life and run after God with my whole heart.
Thank You for staying tuned all these years to my pageant ventures. It has been a ride that has taught me more than I even realize right now. I am thankful for all of it.
Hopefully you'll see me one day on the red carpet changing lives, inspiring others and making those dreams come true. Shining God's light on others to see how amazing He truly is!!
God bless,
Tiffany Paul
(P.S. my dream is to be on the show Mr. Robot. God only knows we'll see!)
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